| May. 12th, 2006 @ 03:31 am late at night story |
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Current Location: MY APARTMENT
Current Mood:  drained
Current Music: Elliot Smith- Needle in the Hay
I decided to write this now.
The Lobster Odd Caleb Cooked
Caleb didn't know what to do about the lobster. He had bought the day before at the market on 6th avenue. Now it was boiling in a pot on the stove, but he wasn't sure why. Sometimes he got these odd feelings that stuff that shouldn't talk to him had something important to say. Once, he had sat and listened to his couch for three hours thinking it was about to lecture him on the intricacies of love. It was pretty boring. The lobster was that way. Caleb could have sworn that the lobster was going to tell him something of utmost importance, yet he boiled it anyway. The clock on the wall told him that it was 10:52 in the morning. "An odd time to boil a lobster." He though to himself. He looked at his apartment. There was a goldfish swimming in a small fishbowl in the northeast corner of the room. "I ought to boil the goldfish too." He thought. But he didn't boil it. His apartment was modest, a studio apartment. The kitchen was the dining room, and the dining room was the living room, and the living room was, well, the bedroom. Caleb lived in clutter. He loved his clutter. He liked to collect pepper containers from restaurants. Caleb was an odd person, this is safe to say. The lobster turned bright red in the bubbling water. "I wish I would have thought to get some tongs." Thought Caleb. At 11:05 he thought that the lobster had about finished its boiling. "Are you finished boiling yet lobster?" He asked. The lobster didn't reply. Caleb was odd, I think we discussed that earlier. He shut the burner on the stove off and opened a drawer next to the sink revealing a plethora of kitchen utensils. Caleb picked up the first thing his hand touched without even a glance. He stuck the utensil into the water and realized that it was a turkey baster. "A turkey baster won't work." He thought. Caleb decided that grabbing the turkey baster was a sign that the lobster wasn't ready to be eaten yet. The small kitchen housed many odds and ends. Caleb was an avid reader of "Fruit" magazine. His kitchen floor was littered with old issues. Caleb decided to let the lobster cool off in the water for a while. Another odd thing about Caleb was the way that he walked. Walk isn't really what it would be called. Skidding is what Caleb did. Ever since the age of seven he had refused to let more than half of his foot leave the ground. This was result of a terrible meeting on his way home from school in the village where he grew up. At seven Caleb was still what most people would call a normal child. His love for pepper containers was still a few years away and he hadn't even heard of "Fruit" magazine yet. On this particular day Caleb was coming home from school. He was skipping like children sometimes do. Unfortunately, on this day he happened to come across Miss Trubelly, the village crazy woman. Poor Caleb, there he was just skipping his little feet off when he turned the corner and ran smack into Miss Trubelly's rotund rear end. Upon impact, the first thing that Caleb noticed was her smell. Everyone in the village knew that Miss Trubelly didn't have a home, so she spent the majority of her time sleeping outdoors and rooting through trashbins. On that particular day Miss Trubelly, or just Miss Belly for short, had been shuffling through the trash at the supermarket and had come across a load of old cabbage. Needless to say Caleb had smelled cabbage before, and he didn't enjoy it. The cabbage that Miss Belly had been into was ancient cabbage, and it stunk something terrible. Caleb removed his nose from Miss Belly's backside and was about to apologize when Miss Belly spoke. "Ought to be 'shamed o'yerself you buncher." She said.
"I didn't mean to-"
"Running into an old lady when she least expects it, I ought ter bleach yer moffat."
"I can't say as how anyone expects to be hit, and I'm not sure I know what a moffat is ma'am." Said Caleb.
"Oh, a smart one eh, well we'll just see how smart you are brown sugah." Said Miss Belly.
"I really am sorry miss, I should be getting home now my mothers' waiting on me." With that Caleb tried to scoot around Miss Belly but she was quick for her size. She seized Caleb with one of her meaty hands and looked him in eye. Caleb looked over this monstrosity of a woman with a mounting fear. He noticed how her hair was all scraggly and knotted,it looked as if it had once been a dark brown, but was now a putrid and sickly bronze, like an archaic penny. Her face resembled a that of a great dane complete with droopy jowls and of course, whiskers. Perhaps the scariest thing about her other than her immense size was her eyes. Particularly her left eye, because it was missing. Where her eye should have been there was a radish. The people of the small village where Caleb came from could have told Caleb that this wasn't an odd occurance. Miss Trubelly lost her eye many years before in another story altogether, and had since been stuffing the socket with anything fitting that she found in the trash. It made for quite a terrifying effect since her right eye wasn't the brightest most kind looking thing in the world either. So there he was trapped in her grasp breathing in the smell of ancient disgusting cabbage when she spoke the words that would have him scooting his feet for the rest of his life. "Tujesto, Im Cabansic Brennah el ah limsah CUBRA NOKTEH!!" She whispered. "Um, what does that mean?" Asked Caleb. Now any scholar would tell you that what she said was nothing but nonsense, but to a boy of seven, what she said next scared him almost a quarter to death. "Careful, Careful little Bina, I've just cursed you forever. If ever your foot leaves the ground again it will surely crush something you love when it comes down again." Said Miss Belly. "Something I love like what?" Asked Caleb. "Like your mother's heart, or your father's brain. Step one foot off this ground again and you will cause all those you love pain beyond measure." She said and then released his arm. Caleb stood in shock as Miss Trubelly started to saunter off. After a few minutes he began to move toward home, slowly and without picking up his feet. For the next few years he lived in absolute terror of killing his parents, he even went as far as to tie his feet to floor as he slept so that he could be sure that he wouldn't inadvertently lift his feet in his sleep and end his parents life. Over the years he came to understand that the curse was a hoax but he couldn't shake the habit of never picking up his feet when walked, and Miss Belly still invaded his dreams from time to time. It could be said that this was one of the reasons for Caleb's oddity. Now where were we? Caleb was giving his lobster time to itself in the kitchen, so he trudged slowly out of his kitchen and sat upon the one piece of furniture in the apartment. It was a baseball mitt chair. It had the same qualities of a chair in that you could sit in it, except that it looked just like a baseball mitt. He looked over the room. Caleb noticed all his things; his collection of used up tea bags (Earl Grey), His pile of seagull feathers next to the endtable where the fishbowl sat, across the room from the fishbowl there sat three broom handles with no broom ends leaning against the wall, and from where Caleb was sitting the door going out of his first floor apartment was directley in front of him. So Caleb sat there pondering about odd things while his lobster sat in the now just hot water. Caleb recalled why he had bought the lobster in the first place. He had bought the lobster because she loved lobster, she had told him. She was called Britney and she was quite magnificent according to Caleb. She was coming over today "to have lobster and chat" she had told Caleb. Caleb sat for a moment longer and then slowly got up and went into the kitchen. He looked at the lobster. The lobster glanced back at him. "I think I've cooked you too early lobster." Caleb said. "Britney won't be coming here until the clock says 7 in the evening." The lobster offered no reply. He decided that the lobster could just sit there until he made a decision. Caleb slowly made his way to baseball mitt chair and sat down. "It's gonna be a long day goldfish." He said to the goldfish. The goldfish looked at him knowingly. Caleb turned and looked on the floor next to his chair and saw his shoes. "Brown shoes." He said. He carefully placed each shoe onto his foot being cautious not to move his feet completely off the ground. He stood up and skidded toward the door and was about to leave when he realized that he was wearing nothing but his underwear. He slowly sat down on the chair again removed his shoes ever so carefully and went to his dresser near the kitchen. He retrieved his daily clothes; a pair of old jeans with holes in the knees, and a flannel shirt. Caleb got into his clothes and slipped his shoes on again. He was about to leave when he realized he had forgotten his wallet. He drifted slowly to the counter in the kitchen and retrieved his wallet. Made for the door again and realized he had forgotten his keys. Back to the counter got his keys and was finally at the door to leave. "I am going to the market." He said to the apartment. The apartment was silent except for the bubbles in the fish bowl. Caleb stepped out of the apartment. His apartment was on the first floor so as not to bother with steps. Caleb had no car and just walked where he went. Caleb made his way slowly down the street where he lived. People waved to him but he couldn't see there faces, always seemed to look away before he got a good glimpse of them. He didn't know anyone's name except for the market man Horace. He arrived at the market and Horace greeted him with a smile. "How's Caleb today?" Asked Horace. "Fine Horace,Fine, I just need a lobster for tonight." He said. Horace looked at Caleb with a sadness and said "A nice big lobster for tonight you say?" "Yes" Caleb replied "A yummy juicey one please." Horace paused for a moment and then said "I think I have just the one." Horace walked into his little back room and returned with a nice big lobster. "There you are Caleb." Horace said. "Thank you Horace, I shall pay you at the end of the week." Said Caleb. "Righto." Said Horace. A small sad frown appeared on Horace's lips but disappeard before Caleb could take notice. Caleb grabbed his lobster and made the return home. On the way home he spotted a seagull feather and grabbed it for his collection. He made it back to his apartment when the clock said it was 3 in afternoon. Caleb walked to the kitchen and placed the new lobster on the counter. He looked at the cooked lobster sitting in the pot and decided that he ought to try and save it for later. He dumped the lobster and water into the sink. Then he grabbed the old lobster from the sink and opened the refrigerator, he noted that it was strange that there were five other cooked lobsters in there but his thoughts sometimes just wandered. He placed the cooked lobster in the fridge and returned to the baseball mitt chair. He sat down and promptley fell asleep. When he awoke the clock read that it was 7 in the evening. He thought there was something that he was supposed to do at 7 but couldn't remember what it was. Then it came to him in a rush. "BRITNEY!" he exclaimed. He stood up and promptly scooted around the room straightening things up, but gradually he forgot why he was cleaning up in the first place. He walked to the kitchen taking no notice of the lobster on the counter and opened a cupboard. He found a can of sardines and some crackers there that he didn't remember buying and took them back into the living room. He sat in the baseball mitt chair and ate the crackers and sardines. When he finished he got up and returned the crackers to the cupboard and threw out the empty sardine can in the garbage under the sink. He looked on the counter and saw the lobster. "Lobster." He said quietly and returned to his baseball mitt chair. He sat quietly and drifted off to sleep. His dreams were unpleasant, the face of Miss Trubelly kept telling him to "Watch your feet Caleb...WATCH THEM." He slept restlessly through the night.
EPILOGUE
Horace entered Caleb's apartment at 2 in the morning. He was carrying a small bag. He saw Caleb twitching in his chair and a small frown appeared on his gentle face. He quietly went to the fishbowl and fed the fish. He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge and the smell of old lobster invaded his nostrils. He went under the sink and retrieved a garbage bag and placed the old lobsters into the bag. He then produced from the small bag he was carrying a few boxes of crackers and some cans of sardines. He placed these in the cupboard and then grabbed a glass from the cupboard next to the sink. He filled the glass with water and placed it next to the lobster on the counter. He looked at Caleb and finally spoke quietly "Oh Caleb, I am so sorry for all that has happened to you. You poor, poor child. That witch had no right to do this to you. I promised your parents before they died that I would take care of you and try to make your life as normal for you as I could. If only you could just start over...but you can't...you are doomed to repeat this day for the rest of your life." Horace walked to the door paused "One more try..." He whispered. Horace walked quietly to Caleb and got down on one knee and put his head next to Caleb's and whispered in his ear "Britney is your wife, you have a three year old little boy, they left when you started to get bad. Britney said she couldn't stand to see you like this...please remember...please remember you poor child."
Caleb didn't know what to do about the lobster. He had bought it the day before at the market on 6th avenue. Now it was boiling in a pot on the stove, but he wasn't sure why. Sometimes he got these odd feelings that stuff that shouldn't talk to him had something important to say. Once, he had sat and listened to his couch for three hours thinking it was about to lecture him on the intricacies of love. It was pretty boring. The lobster was that way. Caleb could have sworn that the lobster was going to tell him something of utmost importance, yet he boiled it anyway. The clock on the wall told him that it was 10:52 in the morning. "An odd time to boil a lobster." He though to himself. He looked at his apartment. There was a goldfish swimming in a small fishbowl in the northeast corner of the room.
The end. |
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