ajuiceymiller

Can't Sleep

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 07:50:43 GMT

So,

I can't sleep, it's almost three in the morning and I am wide awake. I wish there was a lake here so that I could skip some stones or something. This weekend was awesome. I got to watch two very cool people get hitched. We partied like rockstars, danced, sang, drank, smoked the hooka, swam, and talked about life. I arrived home today at around 3pm and was so exhausted from the night of partying that I laid down to take a little nap. I woke up at 8:30! So now I am wide awake and typing. I finally have AIM back so I talked to my California connection Mr. Dave Seger and my New York connection Mr. Jason Pintar. Funny in one night I talked to two people on the opposite coasts of the USA, the internet is wonderful like that.
I am doing well for myself other than the fact that I am poor. I have started working at the bookstore again but the checks can't come fast enough, and when they do there isn't enough money for everything. Ah well, I am trying to pick up another job before the semester starts so that I can afford my jetsetter ways...ha. When we were sitting around during the party we somehow got talking about silly band names. I figured out the best formula for making a band name: 1)make up a person's name 2)place "and the" after said person's name 3)Make up a silly phrase and place it after the "and the". Here are some examples

Nicolas Renford and the tiny tater tots
Corey Blaise and the crooked alphabet boots
Cynthia Dugan and the mighty alligator blessing
Orson Burgess and the carefully planned salad shooters
Bugsy Whimple and the shopping mall riptide

you can also replace "and the" with "and his/her" or "is" or "is the" and it will be funny guaranteed.

Calcium Franklin and his beating heart hammer
Trick Wilford is the concrete socks
Elizabeth Hoyt is Smashed to bits
Lydia Underwood and her tiny manburgers

This game is so fun and easy, I'm gonna copyright it.

In other news, I need to get in shape. I have fencing and jogging this semester, plus grad school auditions coming up and I wanna look my best. Let's go running and lift some weights. I want to do yoga too. Imagine me doing yoga...ha.

I am jealous of Lydia, she got to go to LALAPALOOZA, she saw Death Cab, and the Shins, and Ben Kweller and probably a million other bands I would die to see. Lucky.

2+2= 75%

I watched some cool movies tonight "IGBY GOES DOWN" and "MILLER'S CROSSING" very different films but both tremendously good.

I really want to see "CHILDREN OF MEN" the trailer looks really cool and they use SIGUR ROS music so it must be good.

A quick poem

These and Those

I got these plans but no goals
I see these flames but no coals
I got these freckles but no moles
I see these shoes but no soles
I got these quarters but no tolls
I see these spoons but no bowls
I got these parts but no roles
I see these shovels but no holes
I got these lives but no souls
I see these candidates but no polls
I got these jellies but no rolls

hmmm. Stream of conciousness...I think so.

I watched this documentary about 9/11 called "Loose Change" and it really made me think. It is a conspiracy theory about the government setting up the whole thing, but many of the arguments the guy makes are very convincing, I don't know how I feel exactley but it is food for thought.

WAR IS STUPID. LIFE IS SHORT ALREADY WHY CAN'T WE GET ALONG WHILE IT LASTS?

I have been listening to Johnny Cash alot lately, man is he good.

I like being left handed.

I want to play Euchre and Cribbage. Also a game of Texas Hold'em every now and again would be nice.

I wish I could breath underwater.

I need to take more walks.

Who invented the jump rope?

Yo-Yo's are sweet, I can do the cradle, walk the dog, and around the world...bitchin.

I need to read more plays, like lots and lots more before grad school.

I am glad Swizzle is back in town, I really like that guy.

Music makes me so happy, I love finding new bands that I have never heard and then having them change my life. Rilo Kiley is one. Sufjan Stevens and Death Cab are another. There is so much good music out there. The new Keane CD is &(#(*#* AMAZING.

I have a thing for girls that play piano.

I have changed more than my friends back home. Alot more. I think for the better in most ways...hopefully.

Vic Morehead and the neon carpetbaggers

This semester is going to be rad. I am directing the one act "THE ROOMATE" by Mr. Jeremy Motz and I am going to be in the television show "THE AGONY AND THE IRONY" written by Mr. Jeremy Motz. It is going to be quite the Motz year and he won't even be here...boo.

I am excited to live with Chris Chapin and Tim this year. Tim and I are great friends and I think Chapin is one of the chillest, nicest people I have ever met. We are going to have a good time in May St. Apartments even if they do suck a bit.

I want to travel the world. I don't understand how anyone can be content with seeing such a little bit of it, when it is so huge.

I am gonna eat more salad.

I have alot of stories, I think I want to try and do stand up comedy at some point this year, maybe at an open mic night or something.

I need some new underwear and socks mine are getting old. NOT GROSS just old. I like my skivvies to be bright and colorful, maybe I should use Clorox Color Protection?

Toothpaste should not taste like cinnamon rolls.

Let's learn guitar this year.

20 minutes til 4 am.

I miss my theatre buddies. I miss the green room. I miss acting. I can't wait until Star Spangled starts up again.

I barely watch tv anymore since we don't have the cable hooked up to it. I don't miss it all that much. Plus Motz has alot of movies I have never seen before.

I am reading C.S. Lewis's "THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA" right now. I have already read THE LION THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE now I am going back and reading all the others. THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW is pretty good so far.

I think I might actually be able to go to sleep now. Wow I got alot off my mind.

I watched HOOK on Friday...I love that movie!

Old people dancing is awesome.

Goodnight.

late at night story

Fri, 12 May 2006 10:08:38 GMT

I decided to write this now.

The Lobster Odd Caleb Cooked

Caleb didn't know what to do about the lobster. He had bought the day before at the market on 6th avenue. Now it was boiling in a pot on the stove, but he wasn't sure why. Sometimes he got these odd feelings that stuff that shouldn't talk to him had something important to say. Once, he had sat and listened to his couch for three hours thinking it was about to lecture him on the intricacies of love. It was pretty boring. The lobster was that way. Caleb could have sworn that the lobster was going to tell him something of utmost importance, yet he boiled it anyway. The clock on the wall told him that it was 10:52 in the morning. "An odd time to boil a lobster." He though to himself. He looked at his apartment. There was a goldfish swimming in a small fishbowl in the northeast corner of the room. "I ought to boil the goldfish too." He thought. But he didn't boil it. His apartment was modest, a studio apartment. The kitchen was the dining room, and the dining room was the living room, and the living room was, well, the bedroom. Caleb lived in clutter. He loved his clutter. He liked to collect pepper containers from restaurants. Caleb was an odd person, this is safe to say. The lobster turned bright red in the bubbling water. "I wish I would have thought to get some tongs." Thought Caleb. At 11:05 he thought that the lobster had about finished its boiling. "Are you finished boiling yet lobster?" He asked. The lobster didn't reply. Caleb was odd, I think we discussed that earlier. He shut the burner on the stove off and opened a drawer next to the sink revealing a plethora of kitchen utensils. Caleb picked up the first thing his hand touched without even a glance. He stuck the utensil into the water and realized that it was a turkey baster. "A turkey baster won't work." He thought. Caleb decided that grabbing the turkey baster was a sign that the lobster wasn't ready to be eaten yet. The small kitchen housed many odds and ends. Caleb was an avid reader of "Fruit" magazine. His kitchen floor was littered with old issues. Caleb decided to let the lobster cool off in the water for a while. Another odd thing about Caleb was the way that he walked. Walk isn't really what it would be called. Skidding is what Caleb did. Ever since the age of seven he had refused to let more than half of his foot leave the ground. This was result of a terrible meeting on his way home from school in the village where he grew up. At seven Caleb was still what most people would call a normal child. His love for pepper containers was still a few years away and he hadn't even heard of "Fruit" magazine yet. On this particular day Caleb was coming home from school. He was skipping like children sometimes do. Unfortunately, on this day he happened to come across Miss Trubelly, the village crazy woman. Poor Caleb, there he was just skipping his little feet off when he turned the corner and ran smack into Miss Trubelly's rotund rear end. Upon impact, the first thing that Caleb noticed was her smell. Everyone in the village knew that Miss Trubelly didn't have a home, so she spent the majority of her time sleeping outdoors and rooting through trashbins. On that particular day Miss Trubelly, or just Miss Belly for short, had been shuffling through the trash at the supermarket and had come across a load of old cabbage. Needless to say Caleb had smelled cabbage before, and he didn't enjoy it. The cabbage that Miss Belly had been into was ancient cabbage, and it stunk something terrible. Caleb removed his nose from Miss Belly's backside and was about to apologize when Miss Belly spoke. "Ought to be 'shamed o'yerself you buncher." She said.
"I didn't mean to-"
"Running into an old lady when she least expects it, I ought ter bleach yer moffat."
"I can't say as how anyone expects to be hit, and I'm not sure I know what a moffat is ma'am." Said Caleb.
"Oh, a smart one eh, well we'll just see how smart you are brown sugah." Said Miss Belly.
"I really am sorry miss, I should be getting home now my mothers' waiting on me." With that Caleb tried to scoot around Miss Belly but she was quick for her size. She seized Caleb with one of her meaty hands and looked him in eye. Caleb looked over this monstrosity of a woman with a mounting fear. He noticed how her hair was all scraggly and knotted,it looked as if it had once been a dark brown, but was now a putrid and sickly bronze, like an archaic penny. Her face resembled a that of a great dane complete with droopy jowls and of course, whiskers. Perhaps the scariest thing about her other than her immense size was her eyes. Particularly her left eye, because it was missing. Where her eye should have been there was a radish. The people of the small village where Caleb came from could have told Caleb that this wasn't an odd occurance. Miss Trubelly lost her eye many years before in another story altogether, and had since been stuffing the socket with anything fitting that she found in the trash. It made for quite a terrifying effect since her right eye wasn't the brightest most kind looking thing in the world either. So there he was trapped in her grasp breathing in the smell of ancient disgusting cabbage when she spoke the words that would have him scooting his feet for the rest of his life. "Tujesto, Im Cabansic Brennah el ah limsah CUBRA NOKTEH!!" She whispered. "Um, what does that mean?" Asked Caleb. Now any scholar would tell you that what she said was nothing but nonsense, but to a boy of seven, what she said next scared him almost a quarter to death. "Careful, Careful little Bina, I've just cursed you forever. If ever your foot leaves the ground again it will surely crush something you love when it comes down again." Said Miss Belly. "Something I love like what?" Asked Caleb. "Like your mother's heart, or your father's brain. Step one foot off this ground again and you will cause all those you love pain beyond measure." She said and then released his arm. Caleb stood in shock as Miss Trubelly started to saunter off. After a few minutes he began to move toward home, slowly and without picking up his feet. For the next few years he lived in absolute terror of killing his parents, he even went as far as to tie his feet to floor as he slept so that he could be sure that he wouldn't inadvertently lift his feet in his sleep and end his parents life. Over the years he came to understand that the curse was a hoax but he couldn't shake the habit of never picking up his feet when walked, and Miss Belly still invaded his dreams from time to time. It could be said that this was one of the reasons for Caleb's oddity. Now where were we? Caleb was giving his lobster time to itself in the kitchen, so he trudged slowly out of his kitchen and sat upon the one piece of furniture in the apartment. It was a baseball mitt chair. It had the same qualities of a chair in that you could sit in it, except that it looked just like a baseball mitt. He looked over the room. Caleb noticed all his things; his collection of used up tea bags (Earl Grey), His pile of seagull feathers next to the endtable where the fishbowl sat, across the room from the fishbowl there sat three broom handles with no broom ends leaning against the wall, and from where Caleb was sitting the door going out of his first floor apartment was directley in front of him. So Caleb sat there pondering about odd things while his lobster sat in the now just hot water. Caleb recalled why he had bought the lobster in the first place. He had bought the lobster because she loved lobster, she had told him. She was called Britney and she was quite magnificent according to Caleb. She was coming over today "to have lobster and chat" she had told Caleb. Caleb sat for a moment longer and then slowly got up and went into the kitchen. He looked at the lobster. The lobster glanced back at him. "I think I've cooked you too early lobster." Caleb said. "Britney won't be coming here until the clock says 7 in the evening." The lobster offered no reply. He decided that the lobster could just sit there until he made a decision. Caleb slowly made his way to baseball mitt chair and sat down. "It's gonna be a long day goldfish." He said to the goldfish. The goldfish looked at him knowingly. Caleb turned and looked on the floor next to his chair and saw his shoes. "Brown shoes." He said. He carefully placed each shoe onto his foot being cautious not to move his feet completely off the ground. He stood up and skidded toward the door and was about to leave when he realized that he was wearing nothing but his underwear. He slowly sat down on the chair again removed his shoes ever so carefully and went to his dresser near the kitchen. He retrieved his daily clothes; a pair of old jeans with holes in the knees, and a flannel shirt. Caleb got into his clothes and slipped his shoes on again. He was about to leave when he realized he had forgotten his wallet. He drifted slowly to the counter in the kitchen and retrieved his wallet. Made for the door again and realized he had forgotten his keys. Back to the counter got his keys and was finally at the door to leave. "I am going to the market." He said to the apartment. The apartment was silent except for the bubbles in the fish bowl. Caleb stepped out of the apartment. His apartment was on the first floor so as not to bother with steps. Caleb had no car and just walked where he went. Caleb made his way slowly down the street where he lived. People waved to him but he couldn't see there faces, always seemed to look away before he got a good glimpse of them. He didn't know anyone's name except for the market man Horace. He arrived at the market and Horace greeted him with a smile. "How's Caleb today?" Asked Horace. "Fine Horace,Fine, I just need a lobster for tonight." He said. Horace looked at Caleb with a sadness and said "A nice big lobster for tonight you say?" "Yes" Caleb replied "A yummy juicey one please." Horace paused for a moment and then said "I think I have just the one." Horace walked into his little back room and returned with a nice big lobster. "There you are Caleb." Horace said. "Thank you Horace, I shall pay you at the end of the week." Said Caleb. "Righto." Said Horace. A small sad frown appeared on Horace's lips but disappeard before Caleb could take notice. Caleb grabbed his lobster and made the return home. On the way home he spotted a seagull feather and grabbed it for his collection. He made it back to his apartment when the clock said it was 3 in afternoon. Caleb walked to the kitchen and placed the new lobster on the counter. He looked at the cooked lobster sitting in the pot and decided that he ought to try and save it for later. He dumped the lobster and water into the sink. Then he grabbed the old lobster from the sink and opened the refrigerator, he noted that it was strange that there were five other cooked lobsters in there but his thoughts sometimes just wandered. He placed the cooked lobster in the fridge and returned to the baseball mitt chair. He sat down and promptley fell asleep. When he awoke the clock read that it was 7 in the evening. He thought there was something that he was supposed to do at 7 but couldn't remember what it was. Then it came to him in a rush. "BRITNEY!" he exclaimed. He stood up and promptly scooted around the room straightening things up, but gradually he forgot why he was cleaning up in the first place. He walked to the kitchen taking no notice of the lobster on the counter and opened a cupboard. He found a can of sardines and some crackers there that he didn't remember buying and took them back into the living room. He sat in the baseball mitt chair and ate the crackers and sardines. When he finished he got up and returned the crackers to the cupboard and threw out the empty sardine can in the garbage under the sink. He looked on the counter and saw the lobster. "Lobster." He said quietly and returned to his baseball mitt chair. He sat quietly and drifted off to sleep. His dreams were unpleasant, the face of Miss Trubelly kept telling him to "Watch your feet Caleb...WATCH THEM." He slept restlessly through the night.

EPILOGUE

Horace entered Caleb's apartment at 2 in the morning. He was carrying a small bag. He saw Caleb twitching in his chair and a small frown appeared on his gentle face. He quietly went to the fishbowl and fed the fish. He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge and the smell of old lobster invaded his nostrils. He went under the sink and retrieved a garbage bag and placed the old lobsters into the bag. He then produced from the small bag he was carrying a few boxes of crackers and some cans of sardines. He placed these in the cupboard and then grabbed a glass from the cupboard next to the sink. He filled the glass with water and placed it next to the lobster on the counter. He looked at Caleb and finally spoke quietly "Oh Caleb, I am so sorry for all that has happened to you. You poor, poor child. That witch had no right to do this to you. I promised your parents before they died that I would take care of you and try to make your life as normal for you as I could. If only you could just start over...but you can't...you are doomed to repeat this day for the rest of your life." Horace walked to the door paused "One more try..." He whispered. Horace walked quietly to Caleb and got down on one knee and put his head next to Caleb's and whispered in his ear "Britney is your wife, you have a three year old little boy, they left when you started to get bad. Britney said she couldn't stand to see you like this...please remember...please remember you poor child."

Caleb didn't know what to do about the lobster. He had bought it the day before at the market on 6th avenue. Now it was boiling in a pot on the stove, but he wasn't sure why. Sometimes he got these odd feelings that stuff that shouldn't talk to him had something important to say. Once, he had sat and listened to his couch for three hours thinking it was about to lecture him on the intricacies of love. It was pretty boring. The lobster was that way. Caleb could have sworn that the lobster was going to tell him something of utmost importance, yet he boiled it anyway. The clock on the wall told him that it was 10:52 in the morning. "An odd time to boil a lobster." He though to himself. He looked at his apartment. There was a goldfish swimming in a small fishbowl in the northeast corner of the room.

The end.

Short

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 07:10:07 GMT

I fell today. I fell in step with this girl who was wonderous and fine. I wanted her to be with me, her cap-cut bronze hair next to my hair, dangling in a profound way that we could philosophize about. I wished that she would notice me while she strode on flat-soled moccasins, but her eyes were quarantined. I looked at her as if I were looking at the earth from the moon's point of view. She seemed so perfect there three steps to the north of me. The displacement of the air shuffled her scent back to me and though I couldn't see it I glimpsed her face through her smell. She was a watercolor painting. Decadant with color. The hills and valleys of her face were systematically flawless in my artists brain. I stroked the brush in my mind and filled in her blanks. I don't know what a "good natured" face is but that was her descriptor. Is "good natured" as beautiful to you as it is to me? The material in her pant legs rubbed together making a soft "whishk,whishk" as she advanced a foot in front of the other . I heard her voice in those chaotic echos. Some things make excellent beacons. Her voice was an excellent beacon. I heard her calling to me. Her vocal timbre vibrated through everything sending shockwaves of harmony throughout space. Unitelligible mutterings were all that she spoke. They transported me to nebular continents of imagination. Her hands were journeys, swaying at ten to two intervals at her sides. I watched the ebb and flow of this motion closely. As her right hand reached New York, her left hand took Los Angeles, they told me the story of where she had been. In those moments watching her disappear this afternoon I went with her where she was going. She took me with her. I shall never forget a thing about her and I will surely remember more than I ever knew.

Got to thinkin

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 05:06:11 GMT

Well,

I got to thinking tonight. This is always a problem with me. I wish someone would give me the answers to this test...called life. I am at home tonight just sitting here at my computer contemplating things again. This seems to be the pattern that I follow when I come home. There must be something in the water in Shelby that makes me like this. I am not crazy, crazy people never think they are going crazy they think they are getting more sane. I do think that I am conflicted though. Here it is. I think I am turning into a character in plays instead of a person. I don't know the real me anymore. I am always happy, like even right now as I write this stuff I am happy, ask me why I am happy? I don't know. I just am. I am poor as shit. I feel like a damn millionaire. I don't want anything material. I just feel like something is missing. I am too much me and not enough something else. This doesn't make any sense. Has anyone else ever felt like they were in love with every person they know? I do sometimes. I feel like I fall in love with people every day, it is fucking wonderful and infuriating. I want everything. No, I want everything to be meaningful. I want all my relationships to be amazing journeys, and they aren't. I want to feel as if I am headed somewhere specific instead of just somewhere. Girls are a problem. Not that I don't know enough of them I do, but every since the breakup I haven't known what to do. My body tells me that i should pursue something, my mind is like slow down buddy. Here's a problem, I don't know who I want anymore. I am afraid to try it all over again, who's to say that I won't get into another three year relationship that doesn't work out. I guess that I just have to accept that this could happen but dammnit I don't want to. Plus I have absolutely no idea who I would want to have a relationship with. I will be certain one day and the next I will be like nope this isn't right for me. I am in love with about 20 girls right now, okay I am exaggerating a bit but still, I find things about girls that i like and then I fall for them. That is my problem I am not very picky. Okay well I am but I have a wide array of tastes and I don't look for the bad, I look for the good. Sometimes I will see the bad and then the girl will do something cute and I will love them all over again. WHOA! I am crazy, just fucking insane! This is fun. I like this train of thought, maybe when I wake up I will have it all figured out, I mean right now my fucking brain is going a thousand miles a minute and I don't know what I am trying to tell myself. I want to move to fucking England and meet a girl with an exoctic name like Bex or something and fall in love with her and have a wonderful relationshipt. I want to move to Brazil and meet a women who speaks only Portuguese and just marry the hell out of her and have bilingual children. I want to find a girl to cuddle with, who I can talk to late at night, who likes my jokes, who tells jokes of her own. I want someone who likes my friends and wants to party and chill all at once. I want it all my friends, and I can't have it and that is okay. To want is human, To withold is God. I am pretty sure he/she/it/Ghandi gets a kick out of this struggle. I know I do. Its funny because it infuriates me and I enjoy it at the same time. Lets just all be in love with everyone and cuddle and hug and talk and maybe just chill and listen to some fuckin Sigur Ros and smoke some weed or something. I am tired, I wish I could be at Del's party tonight falling in love with every girl there and then forgetting that I love them tomorrow, then meeting them later and falling in love with them again. Ooooooh man I am done. Love you. Take a chance for Ghandi's sake.

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 05:47:23 GMT

It's My birthday. 22. I am up too late. I go bed now. Love me...everyone!

Thinking about stuff

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 23:05:14 GMT

Well,

I guess I don't have that much to discuss. I am super excited that my parents and sister are coming up tomorrow. I miss them quite a bit. School is hard. I guess its not so much that the work is hard, I just don't feel like doing busy work anymore. I feel like I have done enough of that. I just want to do what I love now. I guess it isn't too far away and for that I am happy. Also I am really excited about Book of Days going up Wednesday, then closing Sunday and starting rehearsals for Tartuffe on Tuesday. I am insane, come to think of it. I put alot on my plate, but it is all stuff that I love to do. I am really enjoying A-OK; working with all the fun people on a show that is going to completely Kick Faces is great. Then of course being in plays which is my true passion and something I will never get enough of. However, my personal life suffers sometimes because of how busy I keep myself. I like being single, don't get me wrong...the only problem is that I like girls alot. I enjoy cuddling and hugging and yes, kissing and stuff. Mostly I just like how it feels to hold someone in my arms and relax and talk with them. I enjoy staying up late and talking about random stuff, finding out about weird ideosyncrasies that people have and sharing my weird ideosyncrasies. I miss having that connection, it was something that I hadn't had with my ex in a long time, and that I have had only a few times since. So it sucks because I am so busy that I don't seem to have time to hang out with the people I really like. Plus I am so confused after all that has happened this year: Breaking up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years, sort of dating someone else and that not working out, and now having feelings for someone but not having time to really work on those feelings or spend time together. Bah, I mean it could be worse, I could feel no connections with anyone and just be totally unhappy, which I am not. I figure that everything happens for a reason so I should just go with the flow. Anyhow this is plenty long and I have bitched enough. My life is pretty good. I hope yours is too.

Sunshine life

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 06:37:11 GMT

Well,

I finally updated the pictures from the Black and White party. That was sweet. I had a great time at that party and there are some priceless pictures. It is 1:30 in the morning and I am finally off to bed. Tomorrow I need to be motivated, big time. I am going to exercise and eat healthy. I gotta stop giving in to cravings and stuff. Well I guess that is all I really have to say. I am just so busy that everything is a blur to me.

Random Thought

If I could put sunshine in a bottle, I would. Then I would mail it to myself at the beginning of a shitty week so that by the end of it when I am really fed up with life. I would get a bottle of sunshine, I am pretty sure that would make me happy.

Night.

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 21:25:41 GMT

Can you name 22 people right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 22 people.

1.Julie
2.Tim
3.Tom
4.Pat
5.Grabo
6.Boots
7.Lydia
8.Chapin
9.April
10.Melissa
11.Josh
12.Brooke
13.Lance
14.Finck
15.Dave
16.Ed
17.Dan
18.Motz
19.Sarah
20.Dave Seger
21.Lindsay Marsack
22.Kaitlin

THE QUESTIONS:

how did you meet 14?
Theater stuff, I am not sure which class, it might have just been the green room. She is my Fincky!

What would you do if you had never met 6?
Cry, no but I would be really sad she is the BO to my OTS.

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
That would be strange,they've never met. Plus Dave belongs to Lindsay.

Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
Not in a million years.

Describe 8 in one word:
Superb

Tell me something humilating about 17?
Hmmm...I got nothing, he is too clean.

Do you know any of 4's family members?
I have met his sister and papa.

What's 21's favorite color?
I am going to guess green, but I am not sure.

What would you do if 18 just confessed they liked you?
He already has, the wedding is in July.

What language does 20 speak?
Final Cut Pro.

What grade is 16 in?
15th

When's the last time you talked to 13?
More than a year, we just don't keep in touch.

What is 5's favorite band?
Not sure, I would say it is probably BareNakedLadies, but he has many different tastes.

Is 10 sexy?
Most of the time.

Would you ever date 1?
No she is like my sister. Plus her and Tim are the perfect couple. I love her with all my heart though.

Is 11 single?
S'far as I know.

Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 2?
No. I am already his roomate.

What school does 3 go to?
Central

Where does 15 live?
Mt. Pleasant

Are number 7 & 8 Best friends?
No they don't know each other I don't think.

Do you like 22?
Love her.

Hula-Bula

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 16:12:52 GMT

So I stayed in last night because I felt like I needed a night alone, plus the weather was horrible. I watched 2 movies. "The Usual Suspects" and "Dig". The usual suspects was awesome as always. Then I watched "Dig" it was fucking incredible. It is about these two bands "The Dandy Warhols" and "The Brian Jonestown Massacre." Two indy rock bands that started around the same time. The Dandy Warhols have since gotten pretty popular on the Indy rock scene, but Brian Jonestown broke up because their lead singer is brilliant but also insane and thinks he is the son of god. Anyway I just thought that I would let anyone who reads this anymore know that they should see that movie if they are into indy rock in the slightest. I am glad that I stayed home last night, it gave me time to think and just relax for a bit. However, I was sad to not be watching movies with Boots. I really need to get my exhaust system attached to my car again. That would be nice. 11:11 make a wish.

um

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 01:03:45 GMT

Socks cover the feet to keep the warmth in.
I travel the world to find my meanin'
Dreams smell like roses when you sleep under bushes
Love ain't easy when someone always pushes
grooves on the railing guide my fingertips
can't stop imagining the softness of your lips
push
shove

As I sit here in the puter lab

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 05:08:39 GMT

Well,

Another year has passed, many things have changed, many things remain the same. I guess I just want to list some of the stuff that happened in the past year.

I broke up with Melissa, my girlfriend of almost three years.
I was in 4 theater productions at CMU.
I have taken and Passed 33 credit hours at CMU.
I got poor all of a sudden.
I have made more great friends.
I kissed a lot of people.
I hugged even more people.
I had a cyst.
I worked.
I laughed.
I Cried.
I went home.
I came back.
I ate fast food.
I ate slow food.
I cooked stuff.
I drank alcohol.
I drank water.
I read alot of books.
I listened to some amazing new music.
I watched a bunch of new movies.
I was on a tv show.
I saw Ben Folds AWWWW YEAH.
I learned alot about theater.
I learned alot abou Interpersonal Communication.
I wrote long papers.
I wrote short papers.
I talked at a laundrymat.
I took tests.
I bought new clothes(well my mom bought me new clothes...shutup.)
I lived alot.
I did tons more too...too much to name it all.

I love life. I think this is the coolest shit in the world. I think about where I have been, the journey that I have been on, and it is all worthwhile. Everything that has happened to me, has shaped me into the person that I am today. I think that there are a great many things that I need to change about myself, I want to be better, but looking at things I am extremely happy with where I am. I sometimes get so caught up in my life and doing things in the moment and for the future. That I forget to look at the past. Some people say that looking in the past is worthless, I couldn't disagree more. I think looking in the past is extremely valuable. Our past can be painful and hurtful, and wonderful, and ful, but it is OUR past. We own it. It is one of the few things in life that is ours. I for one need to examine my past to make sure I don't fuck up like I did before. For me looking at the past gets me excited about the future. I have lived almost 22 years. I have done alot already, but I see my whole life laid out ahead of me, and I am making a list of what I want to do in my head. For me looking at this past year has made me realize that no matter how busy you are, there is always more to see, more to do, more to experience, and I want it. I mean I want it all. Ambition is something that alot of people don't have alot of, but me I say fuck that. I got ambition, I want alot out of this life. I don't dwell on the past, I enjoy it. I realize that there are many people who don't have it as good as me, but I think that if your not dead, you could be, and that would suck, so don't kill yourself while your alive, do something awesome instead. Thats what I am going to do.

New Year's

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 02:33:03 GMT

Well,

New years was a great time. I had alot of fun over at Dave and Del's we partied like it was 2005, then 2006. My new years resolutions are as follows.

I will lose 50 pounds by June.

I will not eat fast food, unless it is Pita Pit or salads from fast food places.

I will exercise 5 times a week.

I will be awesomer.

Okay that is all.

Thursday in nutshell

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 22:46:05 GMT

Yesterday:

Woke up early
Drove to Mt. Pleasant
Went to Library
Got Moliere stuff
Went to TJ MAXX
Bought 3 bitchin shirts
Hung lights at Apartment
Lansing people show up
Went to dinner at Mountain Town
Back to Apartment
Drinking Games
Fam Video
Sleeping

It was fun, Now I am at home and bored again, but my computer is fixed so that is good. I will miss lots of people while I am here, I can't wait to be back in Mt. Pleasant when people start to come back!! Butt is good. I like the Shins ALOT! I also like Bright Eyes A TON! Playdough is also fun but can be messy. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! SAFE FLIGHT BROOKE!!!! OUT!

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 16:13:35 GMT

My butt has a hole in it, and it is going to take a while to heal. Yay!

Here is everything

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 01:24:56 GMT

Let it be known from this day forward I will never eat an english muffin again! Only French muffins for me. A man talking on a telephone in Germany is directing a woman in Venezuala to plant some hydrangeas in her garden, at the same time the pope is taking a pee and your mother is washing dishes in California. When Jim left, Todd was sad and he didn't know why, soon he found out that Jim stole his wallet and that pissed him off, but soon he was just sad again. Todd was a poodle. If there are twelve banana's and then one banana is eaten how much coffee does it take to screw in a desk lamp? We cannot be certain that elvis has left the building, but we can be certain that gum loses its flavor...over time. Bed sheets get dirty, so does your skin, change them at least once a week. A purple heart is bad, unless it is a medal, don't get a purple heart unless its a medal, because I am pretty sure that would suck. Eat dolphins if you have nothing else, I mean they are cute but c'mon! Once, a man was sure he had won a hand of poker, then he ate some custard, lost the hand of poker, shot himself in the foot, and tried to swim upstream in a raging river. He didn't die, but it wasn't much fun. Don't eat custard. If a guy named Lewis asks where I was yesterday tell him he is a blue orchid sitting on a park bench and then blow him a kiss and talk in a french accent to the nearest blade of grass, he will probably look at you funny, but hey, life is short, and you got the time. Oak is a strong wood, but fuck oak. A blue balloon is always better. If I were a doctor this would not be a problem. Sometimes when a person thinks about the color green they also think about hang nails...and that ladies and gentlecarrots smells like teen spiritual networking. A comma is like a period with a little, a little swooooosh hanging down. Yep just like that. What exactly is a pumice stone anyway? If I were Lionel Richie my feet would probably be worth more than they are now. If you ever, ever talk to someone whose name is a color, draw on them with a marker, I don't think they are allowed to get mad about it. Ever seen one of those "Think Pink" shirts? I have. Maybe lizards aren't as bad as we always thought they were. Bob Dylan. Giant ears of corn. Sing about nothing sometime, its pretty fucking amazing. Offer someone a stick of gum, if they say yes, reach in your pocket, touch your gum, then tell them you don't have any gum, there doesn't that feel better. Wyatt is a real asshole. A canker sore is bad, but think of all those stars that supernova in the universe...ouch! Whisper for effect. If I were a drummer I would pound shit all the time! Fall in love, fall in debt, fall in a hole, fall in spring time, fall in Saul (what a cool name and it ryhmes with fall). oh yeah that's all.

A beautiful time to update

Sat, 07 May 2005 08:01:34 GMT

Well,

This is it. We have come to the end of another year at CMU. This has been one hell of a year for sure. I am just going to take a moment and reflect on what I have done this year.

Went to NEW YORK CITY and saw Stephen King give a lecture on his new book.
Acted in the hit tv show DESKIES and had a great time doing
Learned that RAing is a full time job
Turned 21 and peed in a dresser(I love my Melissa)
Made tons of friends in the Theater department
Lost alot of people to graduation
Celebrated 2 years with Melissa...WHOA 2 YEARS!
Went to Melissa's brothers wedding
Took 30 credit hours of classes and did well in all of them!
Made it into Summer Theater
Got tooo FAT
Learned the meaning of fun at BDUBS Karaoke on Wednesday nights!
Drank too much beer
Learned about lots of new types of people and what kind of douche bags there are when being an RA

And that was my year. Kind of sad when you boil it all down like that.

So I have been pondering about this life of mine for a while now. I realize that I have been going about things a little wrong lately. My priorities have gotten a little mixed up as of late. I was talking with my roomate Dave the other night and realized that I haven't stopped all year. I haven't once just stopped to appreciate life. I know that it sounds a little corny but think back to high school (I know what you are thinking...high school yuck) but in a way high school was cool. In high school I had nothing but time, time for everything, but mostly time to appreciate life. I can remember certain moments from high school that will stay with me forever. I remember watching a lightning storm with my good friend Mitzie, I remember laying on my friends trampoline stoned out of my mind and looking up in the sky and just loving it all, seeing the stars and the moon and just appreciating it. The problem is when I try to do that for my time here at Central I can't. I am afraid I am letting my college years slip by without any real pauses for appreciation. I can't remember the last time that I did something spontaneous for Melissa, I can't remember the last time I just sat outside and watched the world. As college students we are on the go, all the time. We frantically go through our days trying to get one thing done so that we can move right on to the next. I think we are making a big mistake. This is the only life we have, we need to ask ourselves what do we want out of life. To me, it seems silly to go through life doing everything as fast as you can if you have no redeemable memories. I want to remember this time here with nostalgia and clear pictures in my head. I want the perfect movie moments to come back to my life. I remember in high school at least 4 or 5 moments that were perfect. I mean perfect in the sense that everything just stopped and I was allowed for a moment to glimpse life in perfection. I want to enjoy the night time again, I want to walk in the dark and look up at the sky, I want to climb a damn tree, I want to stop for a moment and look around,I am sick of this constant push towards adulthood! Life goes fast enough as it is I don't need to make it go any faster by eliminating the joy of just being. I don't want to end up old with no memories left in my head that are worth a damn. I want to have deep conversations with people about life and what it means to them. I want to search for the meaning of life instead of accepting that I have to go through it so fast and hope everything turns out alright. I have been reading "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac, and I realized that I don't ever want to feel the way he did at times in that book. Somehow I think that it has already happened a little. We sometimes let part of ourselves die for no reason at all, it is so easy to fall into the trap of living methodically. I want to be free from the fast-track, I don't want to be part of the speedsters. I need to work out more. I need to become more in tune with the earth. It's amazing because I am not a hippie, I don't believe that life should be peaceful, more the opposite, I think our lives should be full of everything, I want to be saturated with life. This rant has gone on long enough, but I feel very strongly about what I wrote. It is almost 4 in the morning so I hope it makes some sense, but even if it doesn't I don't care this is for me not for anyone else. Peace out bitches.

Avoiding Homework....

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 04:18:24 GMT

Well,

It has been a ludicrously long length (alliteration) of time since I chose to update the old livejournal. Why did I choose to update tonight you ask? Did I experience some event in my life and feel the need to tell the world? Did I win money and feel the need to tell the world? Did I injure myself yet again, and feel the need to tell the world? The answer to all those questions fortunately and unfortunately is no. The truth of the matter is that I have an outline due for class tomorrow and I am feeling destructively procrastinatory tonight so I am finding alternate ways to use my time. Concordantly, I just finished watching "The Incredibles" for the second time in as many days. The end of the semester draws closer, I in turn become more and more lethargic in regards to classes. It is my hope that I can somehow trounce this bout of laziness that is sinisterly threatening my GPA, my B.A., and who can forget the ever popular PPA (Purple Penis Anonymous). I am a toilet water (metaphor), calm and still, but inevitably shit on and flushed. I am like a used up eraser (simile) pretty much useless unless you tilt me at funny angles?!? In other news I just got inducted to APO (Alpha Psi Omega) the theater fraternity here on campus. I am excited, Rob Grabowski is my BIG which I couldn't be happier about, he is a great fella. "Through the Eyes of Jo" a program that has been going on for the past two years, and which I co-directed this year just went up on Friday night and was a great success. I am currently just exhausted and lacking the motivation to work on stuff for classes. I think I can honestly say I have too much on my plate. The clickety-clack (onomatopoeia)of the keys on my keyboard sigh with lethargy and boredom (personification). What a weekend, it is 11:15 pm and I am just starting my outline. Looks like I won't be sleeping for a while...
Peace Out.

A dresser, too much to drink, turning 21, and other life changing things like...cheese.

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 05:21:59 GMT

Dear Livejournal,

Today has been an interesting one. I woke this morning with a familiar feeling in the general area of my head. It was somewhat woozy, felt thick and silly, also my breath tasted horrible. For a few seconds I just lay there trying to remember where I was and what had happened the night before. Ah yes, thats right, I turned 21 last night. WHOOOOOPEEE! I look to my left. Melissa...the woman I love next to me so...cute. But what is this? She has an unpleasant look on her face. Dialogue ensues.

Melissa: Do you remember waking up last night at around 5:30 in the morning.
A.J.: Not particularily.
Melissa: Well you did.
A.J.: Yeah so
Melissa: You peed in my dresser drawer last night.

A.J. has a brief inner monologue here. (she is lying, she just wants to make me laugh, I wasn't nearly drunk enough to do something like that...who am I kidding I was drunk as hell last night, maybe she is telling the truth. Nah that bitch is lying I am not falling for this...)

More dialogue.

A.J.: You're lying I did not.
Melissa: YES YOU DID.
A.J.: I don't believe you.
Melissa: Look at the dresser.

I look to my right and there stands the dresser, peculiar the middle drawer seems to be open as if to say "look you peed in me." I have quick battle with myself and decide that I should just believe whatever Melissa says because I am probably kidding myself otherwise. So she tells me the story...

Melissa: "You woke up around 5:30 and got out of bed. I woke up and saw you move toward the dresser at which point I was fairly certain you were going to vacate your bladder. I then did the most logical thing which was to yell at you and tell you that the thing on which you are about to piss is not a toilet but a dresser drawer you brainless fop (except replace that with "DON'T PISS ON MY DRESSER YOU ASSHOLE GO TO THE BATHROOM"). After I yelled at you and tried to push your big ass to no avail you simply looked at me whilst peeing a smile playing at the corner of your mouth and told me you loved me. You peed for about 3 straight minutes while I looked on in terror and yelled a few more obscenties at you. Then once you were finished you calmly walked back to the bed and proceeded to pass out. I had to get up and clean up the mess you made. Not only did you completely soke one of my towels, you also managed to pee on two of my stuffed animals. So I finished cleaning up and I come back upstairs and climb into bed. I drift off to sleep only to be woken up yet again 45 minutes later. This time i see you get out of bed. Walk to the fridge next to the bed and wage a war against the refrigerator door. For some reason you cannot get the idea that the side you are pulling on is the hinged side so the refrigerator will not open. I have no idea what you could want from the fridge anyway since there is nothing but alcohol in there. So I calmly slide your hands down to right end of the door. You get the door open and proceed to take a LaBatt's from the fridge and run toward my bedroom door as if you are stealing the Labatts. I give chase and catch you and take the beer back. Your reply to my taking the beer was this "Mchfowaowo gibble rumberdumercoffe" and then you gave me a mean look and ran downstairs to the bathroom where you proceeded to pee yet again. I returned to bed and fell asleep until just now."

As I read this back I cannot help to remember my faithful trip to Toronto just two years ago on spring break. It was then that I realized that in the deepest darkest areas of my subconcious I play host to some pretty disturbing tendencies. I mean what could possess a person to pee in a chair, and then years later pee in their girlfriends dresser drawer. I feel that I must have some deep seated hatred for all things furniture. At the back of my mind I hear this little voice, "just go ahead piss all over that dresser drawer the damn thing has it coming..."

And that is the story of my 21st birthday. Apparently Melissa's dresser requested a golden shower, and me being in my drunken state was all too willing to provide. Evening Bitches.

I believe this speaks for itself.

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 08:42:56 GMT

And then she gargled softley

It was a pleasant afternoon when it happened. One might even say it was more pleasant on this particular afternoon than it was normally. And then she gargled softely. It is interesting to report that at the present moment we don’t even know who she is. So as far as I am concerned the fact that she gargled softely doesn’t even really matter unless we (you) know who she is. It would be silly to suggest that I don’t know who she is, because then it wouldn’t even be worthwhile for you to be reading (this). So in the interest of you continuing to read this I am going to at least tell you that I know who she is, “I know who she is” by Me. There, now you think that I know so you are compelled to read further, that is, of course if you are even interested in a she gargling softely. Let us just assume that you are interested in the she that has so recently gargled softley. Now I being me, know that you being well…you, are a sucker for mysteries. So I pose a question to (you). What is it that would make a she gargle softely on a pleasanter than most afternoon? Since I am quite impatient I will just tell you what makes she do it. It was the guy that told her to do it that made her do it. Damn. Well I have just ruined that mystery, you know sometimes I really can be a prat…WAIT!….nope nothing. WAIT!…nop..yes! I got it now. So right, the guy that made she do gargle. He was a jerk fo’ real. Damn. That is not what I wanted to say. I mean he really is a jerk but what I meant to say, or rather ask is…ha you’ll love this, What did she gargle? Ooooh you don’t even know. Would you believe that I know? You see she’s name is Tri-sha, really true, she has a hyphen in the middle of her name. Tri-sha is a chronic throat funker. I know what you are thinking…you are thinking why is that girl named Tri-sha. Well what you think is silly. Ponder this…CHRONIC THROAT FUNKIST: A person who methodically makes funky noises with their throat such as uh uh uh uh uh eeeeeooooweeeeahooooooooouh uh uh uh uh, and eeeeepoooooooooweeeeeeaaahhhhh! (better with sound). I will give you time now..Nevermind remember I am impatient. We have come this far don’t give up on she now, if you are reading this I command you to say out loud (but only if you are comfortable with it) “My eybrow is a clappy boomerang slurpee.” See now wasn’t that fun. Who I am kidding I know you didn’t actually say it out loud, but maybe someday you will and that gives me future satisfaction, the only kind worth fighting for they (I) say. She gargled softely. Remember…mmmmmmmmmmahhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmahhhhhhhhmmmmmm. Got it? Good. Okay so she gargled something…ham. No not ham. I am pretty sure it was just water…soft water that is, hence the soft gargling nature of the gargle. Bob that jerk made her do it. Yeah I said it, his name is Bob, you might as well face it, I am as good at writing mysteries as sand is at talking. So what now have I left to keep your attention? Probably not much I mean I used all my good stuff way lines ago. I thought I could get a page out of a she that gargled softely and stuff but it didn’t work all that well. So here’s what I am gonna do. Recap the answer’s for you and then give you the surprise twist ending that will leave you shuddering for days (minutes). So first she gargled softely. Then he came in and made her do it. Crap. That ain’t right. Then he came in and made her do it, and first she gargled softely. HAHA! Much better. She be Tri-sha and a funker (throat) uh. SOFT WATER ALWAYS!!! Bob is his name. A jerk.

Deliberate space for page consumption…………………………………………(too many dots.)
Moments later. Tri-sha spits out the gargled water and turns to Bob. Now a short dialogue.
Tri-sha: There, gargley gargle garg.
Bob: I like your boobs.
Me: Hey I like surf.
And the all lived happily by the picnic table you sat on before. Somewhere over the rainbow. Remember the COLUMBO!!!! Ends.

Story

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 05:45:04 GMT

Story

I tell you it was all my fault, and you disagree. You say. “We’ve had this conversation before.” It is not the fault of the writer who writes, but of the reader who reads. Writers write for readers to read what it is that they wrote. A reader reads what a writer writes and reads what critics think of what a writer writes to form an opinion. Once aforementioned opinion is formed a reader writes a report on what the writer wrote thus writing when they should be reading more writings of writers. You say, “It cannot be you’re fault entirely, surely I must take some of the blame.” I say. “Of course, of course, but it is my fault entirely, certainly you must see what I am saying.” Weekly reports of innocuous happenings often flounder fruitlessly in my undulating leviathan e-mail inbox. If a camel spits in the desert and there is no one around to see it will Bill Clinton sell more autobiographies? A time machine was created to see the past but I forgot how to use it and ended up in god’s swimming pool, not too big, but one helluva high dive. You say. “I find this whole conversation a bit morbid and forbidding.” I say. “I find this whole conversation morosely abiding.” I say. And when the fluid breathing of the princess is halted and she falls framelessly from her picture window, a safety net will surely save her from the cranial nerve decapitation she would incure if not otherwise rescued. You say. “I quit life, it is to difficult once you get past level 24.” I say. “ Say, look here at this newspaper I found. Looks as if it is going to be a wet one today. Maybe we can close a deal on the new Subaru you wanted.” A purple hydrangea is dipped in a mixture of cotton candy and arsenic. A flutter of wind catches the mixture and fluently philanders the fumes fruitfully through the air. Unconscious of the confusion I thrust a pendulum into the soup crate racer and take it for a wild ride. A billowing sailboat mast sticks flaccidly out from yonder hill beckoning to me as a chipmunk to a pecan. Not knowing how long I can sustain metaphysical form I quickly unzip my soul and mail it to a Siberian monk by the name of ezbeku gogomesh (no capitals). Truly there is no person better suited to protect my soul than gogomesh. Oh gogomesh whose mother rots in a stinking pit of apricot jelly, whose sister once climbed the highest tree in all the land only to fall off and dive into an ant hill where she was deemed queen and had many children. Oh gogomesh of the nine eyes hidden on your body, why do you look so blindly in all directions but forward? A gift was given to me then and I treasured it always. Southern fried clamshell truffles that tasted as if Emeril himself had dropped his magic penis into the proverbial mixer and gouged his own eyes out in immense hatred for the task at hand. A fruit rollup sits on a park bench withering away when a bum snatches it up and devours it whole. Blithely the wrapper of a granola bar is tossed into a trash wherein secret government documents have been stashed, tiny bacteria on the wrapper gathers information from the documents and begins to multiply. Soon a gargantuan anomaly of the physical realm of earth emerges from a tiny garbage can outside of Pretoria, South Africa. Onward to the crazy mixed up ending. In a second, life changed for the worse. Tim found a new treat and ozzy left the corps. A tree bearing the names of thousands of cigarette smoking individuals quit living and thousands were saddened. In a glimpse of the future I saw a torch of azure flame burning the flesh of a melon with a mighty gale force. One thing is sure and that is surely not a joke. A pie made from the heart is more pie than a pie made from the apple and sugar your mother made me. Drizzle whenever you can in the morning, noon, or dusk, for drizzling is not as cheap as it was in ‘98. Coherent dreams are what make a soda pop man’s convictions seem less authentic to the masses. Be content with obscurity you won’t be let down as much. A nickel won’t buy a dime’s worth of marijuana but a dime will always be more than a nickel, if you catch my drift. We are all floating here in a monster’s test tube shaped coffin.

there's more where that came from too, let me know what you think.

A moment of reflection

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 04:02:58 GMT

Well,

The end of the semester draws nigh, and I of course am happy 'bout it. So I thought that for this journal I would reflect a little on the semester that has been...

First off I have to mention my being an RA again. I have to say that this whole thing has been a great experience this semester. I am looking forward to coming back and being prepared for yet another semester of fun. That being said I have decided that while I enjoy the job, I will not be returning next year to the position. I decided that since it will be my senior year at CMU (WOW SENIOR YEAR!!!) I am ready to live in a house. So Pat, Tom, Tim and I are looking for one right now. Plus I really want to focus on theater next year so I won't have time to be an RA anyway.

Next I have to talk about my Bitchin' ASS TRIP to the BIG APPLE. It is interesting looking back, it seems ages ago that I went to New York, but really it was only a couple of Months ago. NY was the first road trip I have ever taken out of the State of Michigan w/o my parents. I would never give up the memories I have from that trip. To see the New York Skyline from Liberty Island when the sun is reflecting of the Hudson River is simply breathtaking. Not to mention seeing the big girl herself the Statue of Liberty. I will never forget the bus ride of Doom or the cool indian guys at the first NY pizza shop I ever visited. I will take with me always the way I felt when I saw Times Square, the hustle and the bustle. It is really something to be able to feel the sense of urgency, the sense of purpose, and chaos that is in the heart of NYC. I will never forget seeing Stephen King speak live and getting a signed copy of his book. I will never forget the crazy Howard Johnson Hotel we stayed in across the river in Jersey (complete with the "OSAMA BIN LADEN IS KING" magic marker on the wall.) Most of all though I will remember what it felt like to truly be free, out on the open road, with only my map and my friends and my car to keep me company. I will cherish the trip with all that I have because to me it represents my college years, and what a way to remember them.

On a more serious note...

This is important so read it carefully. Recently a friend of mine from back home lost his father. This man was 43 years old and he died of a brain aneurysm. I grew up with him, and His dad and Mine were friends in school. This really hit me hard when I found out. I had known that his dad had been in bad health but I thought that he had taken a turn for the better. Turns out that he suffered from mutiple heart attacks and then lost oxygen to the brain. It was very sudden in the night, he was rushed to the hospital and hung on until his son was able to make it home to see him. He died on my friends birthday and was buried on his other son's birthday. I just want you all to remember to tell your family everyday that you love them, because no one is invicible and life should not be taken for granted. So when you are done reading this make sure that you call your parents or if you see them tell them you love them, and your brothers and sisters too. I guess it just sort of showed me that as we get older things like this will happen more and more, we will lose the ones we love, we need to make sure that they hear it from us.

I love the fact that I will be seeing all my Lansing buddies again so soon. I guess I just miss the way it feels to hang out in a big group. I haven't had much in the way of gatherings this year what with my RAing and such so I look forward to a glorious shindig. By the way what should I bring for dinner?

So right now I am home. The reason I am here is to announce the choir/band Christmas Concert and to be Santa Clause. That's right tomorrow I will be in a big red suit saying "HO HO HO" and trying my damndest to make little susie and little Johnnie cry without their parents catching me giving them the evil Santa Eye. Should be good times.

48 DAYS TIL' AJ IS 21!!!

Pat, if a hooker named Rita propositions you in Vegas watch out! That bitch is a cop! Oh yeah, I just watched Ocean's Twelve too, so if you could be so kind as to go ahead and rob the safe of a casino of your choice while your there, and then give me a sum of money to be named later that would be great.

Tim- I accidentally dranks some of your kool-aid, needs more sugar.

Tom- You are Mexican....sort of.

Carson Daly-Love those eyes cutie pie!!

Forget that last one.

PEACE OUT!! GOOD LUCK ON DA FINALS!!....BITCHES!

That's alotta nuts!

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 06:41:25 GMT

Well,

I realize that it has been over a month since my last entry into this glorious medium of internet bliss.
What can I say...I been busy. I go through each day with a sense of overwhelming bore. I am frequently prone to fits of fingertapping or jittering aimlessly about my room. Something tells me that it has to do with school taking so fucking long this semester. So here's the deal. Last year I thought that the semesters went extremely fast, and up until now it has been going fast for me. Now however, I feel as though the next two weeks are stretched out in front of me like the Sahara desert and I am thirsty folks! So to put it eloquently I am in need of some rest and relaxation. To put it Fuckally I need a fuckin break from fucking school biatch, and I am not talking about some pansy ass little four little fucking day thiny. I want a real break! I think I am doing rather well in all my classes maybe even Dean's list caliber work but right now I feel like saying fuck it to all my professors and then offering them some swiss cheese or a hit of exctasy.

So funny story...
The other day I was sitting at lunch with my roomates Ed and Dave, they are both cool as hell by the way. Anyhow, a girl with, how do I say tremendous eh, ta-ta's walks by wearing a low cut shirt. I am concentrating on my food as I always do during these meal periods, but my roomates are both entranced by the boobage in front of their very eyes. So at that exact moment I take a bite of the green-bean casserole on my plate, while I am doing this Ed and Dave both start to talk about the cleavage that is so beautifully placed in their view. I of course am concentrating on the casserole I have just bitten, so not having heard what the boys were talking about say out loud to myself "ha, not as good as my mom's." Needless to say my comment was taken out of context and while I am adament that my mom does look good for a mom; I would never compare her cleavage (out of respect, what kind of son would I be? really now!)So there just a funny story. I thought I would share it.

Needless to say i am pretty tired these days, I don't get enough sleep, mostly because I have taken up writing poetry and short stories as well as plays lately. I don't know why but I am just getting the itch to write all the time now. I guess it is a stress reliever. I wrote a random crazy little story a few days ago and I read it a few times and let other people read it and they have really liked it. If anyone wants to read it, I would be glad to send it to you just give me a holla.

I am only two short months away now from the big two-one, and it is funny. I am really not as excited as I thought I would be. Funny thing is that while turning 21 will be cool and more convenient, I think it is too much hype. I mean yeah I can drink legally, but I drink when I want to anyway already. I guess to me I feel as though 21 is almost more scary than cool. I mean my mom was my age when she had me. I think about me at this point in my life trying to do anything like that and I laugh/cringe I mean, I am broke as a joke and I am conflicted as hell. I don't know what the hell I would do if I was gonna be a dad. I guess it is just hard for me to come to terms with the fact that my life isn't going to play out the way I thought it would in 10th grade. I have changed in so many ways since school it is hard for me to pinpoint just what it is that has changed. I guess I always thought that life would just sort itself out once you graduated high-school. Apparently I missed the bus on that field-trip. I think the best way to describe my life right now would be to picture a rubix cube, okay now solve it with no fingers. Yeah bet you couldn't do it.

I finally beat GTA:SAN ANDREAS a few days ago. I must say I was truly impressed with what a great game it was. I enjoyed the story line and all the cool stuff it had in it. I am still not anywhere close to 100% completion so I intend to spend plenty more time exploring the game.

Oh I should mention how excited I am for JC's birthday party. I guess I just really miss all my Lansing people. I mean it is hard for us all to stay in touch because we are far away, but yet I always feel tremendously close with all of you when I am around, and relationships like that just don't come around everyday. I appreciate you all and look forward to drinking and being merry.

Well this is the longest journal ever so I am done.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, I will see you all soon!

A to the Jizay!

Ti amo i miei amici, ti amo

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 17:04:25 GMT

Well,

I miss you all so much. I can't wait for this weekend, I have friday night out so I will be able to chill with The FAM again. I really hope to be able to see all of you this weekend at some point. Here is some little questions. Are those of you coming Friday planning on Tailgating on Saturday? Also are you going to attend the game if the weather is decent? I am on duty Saturday night starting at 8 pm will I get to see those of you coming on saturday? I hope so...

Back to business!
I acquired GTA:SAN ANDREAS yesterday and it is blowing my mind, SO MUCH CONTENT! I mean really what a fabulous game, although it is difficult at times. Pat I echo the sentiments on "Eternal Sunshine." Tom, Yo' Momma! Tim, thanks for the CD's you burnt me and for giving birth to that small orca whale...

So a little info on my life now...
Doing well with classes and such, I am sorry I didn't get to make it down to Western for Emily's Birthday, I was sad I didn't get to see you all, oh and Happy Birthday Emily! I am however, very excited for this weekend. Mid-terms went well for me I think, now I am just ready to get this semester over with. I want to be on Christmas break, I am tired of classes! RAing has been quite the ordeal lately, just very busy dealing with stuff. I am digging life really though. I have been having fun with my tv show and whatnot, as well as just kind of reassesing my career options and stuff as well. I have come to the conclusion that i really want to act and do theater in my life...forever. I just miss being a part of shows so much this year. I am definitly not coming back as an RA next year, I need my theater fix!

Melissa and I will be celebrating 2 years together on the 8th of November! 2 YEARS can you believe it?!?
Time flies when you are having fun! Crazy stuff!

Well this is getting long and I have to play GTA so I will see you all very soon!!!

Oh and I wrote a poem here it is:

A Whisper A Notion

ten years to go and I am already gone
a whisper, a notion, a funky hip motion
I'm slippin' n' slidin'
I'm jibbin I'm JibiN
like hot eggs on skillet
better not spillit
a whisper, a notion
never saw the ocean
I died before conception
just an innocent reflection
ambience is lacking
IN this cold october morning?
ON this cold october morning?
am i In it or On it
my waking moments are an explosion
a whisper, a notion

bye all see you Friday or Saturday!

back in the habit again

Sun, 10 Oct 2004 01:20:53 GMT

Well,

I haven't written one of these in quite a while. So here goes...Damnit!! I feel so much pressure, I mean what if this journal doesn't live up to the hype, JUST WHAT THE FUCK WILL I DO THEN TERRY? What...What's that you say? NO...I don't believe in that sort of thing you asshole, No, crayola for sure, not that off-brand stuff you used the other day...The Last Samurai now there is a movie. I ate a horse once but it was pronounced "Doh-nut" YOU SON OF A BITCH!! She said I couldn't ride the carpet roll but I showed her didn't I Terry, I rode that carpet role like a fuckin' burrito on a platter...catch my drift, just like the sour cream. Nope... I won't drink carrot juice ever again, not after the state trooper incident, involving a shoe-string and a compass. Martha just quit it, you know my back hair is ticklish! Classes have been good, I enjoy my professor's for the most part. On the one hand I have a professor that sounds like Mr. Feeny from "Boy Meets World." On the other I have a professor who love's Stephen King so we get along great. Melissa is good, her birthday is next weekend WOO-HOO 21!! Deskies Episode 2 comes out on Monday. The fridge talks to me sometimes late at night, I think its name is "HUMMMMMMM." Speaking of that, Hummis is groovy! A poem if you will.

To be a leaf on top of a tree

to be a leaf on the top of a tree
to have the point of view of a leaf
on top of a tree
never exposed to the same air as those below
never to see the pain and suffering

to be a leaf on top of a tree
a glorius thing for sure
Never a dull moment on top of a tree
no, no, nothing but happiness

to be a leaf on top of a tree
seperate and alone
on a collision course with nothing

to be a leaf on top of a tree
a goal to be acheived for sure

to be a leaf on top of a tree

Unto the meat of the bear as they say in poland. Terry this is just not working out, a pina colada is not enough alimony for this massive misjudgement in McDonald's value menu prices. Come up with ten real things you have done for me you prick! She couldn't understand why my desk chair revolving counter-clockwise squeeking unharmoniously meant more to me than she did, so I dumped it for a more reliable robot named Kodak, god now that was a companion! Picture yourself in my shoes, they don't fit well do they, one is quite a bit bigger than the other, because of the cement you see. I have been enjoying my RA life it is just very very busy. I have been talking to Tim about living with the boys next year, hopefully that will work out. I feel bad that I don't get to see or talk to too many people anymore but this life is not easy in that regard. That being said I will end with a proverb of my own creation.

To eat is human, to eat poop is fly, and not fly like cool, fly like the bug, you idiot.

What a weekend!!

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 16:30:21 GMT

Well,

It was the best of times....it was the best of times. WOW! I don't think I could have had more fun this weekend. Thats right y'all I went to NEW YORK CITY!! It was the coolest thing ever. My girlfriend, my co-staff member Bill, my friend Lydia, and I all departed from Central Michigan University at around 10:45 pm Friday night. From there it was the longest 13 hours EVER. We drove across the shitiest, longest, boringest...? state ever (Pennsylvania). On the drive we ran into some very interesting happenings. We encountered flooding, crazy semi drivers, asshole cops, and genuinly nice people who give directions by telling landmarks i.e. go down about half an hour until you see the Wal-Mart then take a right. It was fun but draining. We got to New Jersey on Saturday morning at about 11:45 am. We stayed at a somewhat ghetto Howard Johnson's Hotel that sported graffiti that said "KING OSAMA BIN LADEN." on the mirror and dresser, it was somewhat shady but hey it was cheap and we could sleep there. So we settled into the hotel, took shower to wash off the travel stink and embarked out to the BIG APPLE! We took a bus from Jersey into the Port Authority in NYC, the bus took us through the lincoln tunnel right into the heart of Manhatten. From there we just explored a bit, we walked around staring at all the huge skyscrapers looking hoplessly like tourists, it was great fun, then it started to rain. We decided that it would be prudent to get out of the rain so we ducked into a deli in the Chelsea area of Manhatten. There we got the biggest slices of pizza I have ever seen, and the indian man there called my girlfriend "de lovely." It was a grand experience and great pizza too! So then we decided that we should take the subway next, this was my second time ever purchasing a metro card, but still quite entertaining. So we hopped the subway up to Times Square! It was so cool, everything was glitz and glamour, lights and bling bling. We saw the Virgin Records store which is massive, also we went into the fanciest blinged out McDonald's I have ever seen and used their bathroom. I think the most amazing thing was all the people, there are just so so many everywhere all heading in different directions going about their daily life, it is kind of wonderful/terrible in a way. So after Times Square Bill and I decided that we needed to be geeks and go and visit a sight from a Stephen King book we read. So we walked and saw everything along the way. We ended up visiting the Empire State Building too but we didn't want to spend the $12 to go to the top. After that we got pretty tired and decided to head back to the room for an early bedtime. This is where the adventure takes a twist. We got to the bus station and everything was good, we found or port and where to go, it was all good, then we stepped on the bus. I just have one thing to say about our bus driver, Jeff Gordon has got nothing on him. I think it was the scariest bus ride of my life, there were at least 7 times where I was sure we were going to crash or go careening off the road into a skyscraper, this bus driver was going at breakneck speed through the Lincoln Tunnel, I couldn't see the rails on the wall as we passed by only inches from the side. I was in fear for my life PEOPLE! But it all ended well, he got us safely back to our hotel where we promptly fell asleep at 9:30 the second our heads hit the pillow. The next day was more of the same, we went on the bus to Port Authority again, got off and decided to take the subway to Ground Zero, it was breathtaking, so sad, yet so hopeful as well. We saw the plans for the new building that will go up there and it is massive 1776 ft tall makeing it the tallest building in the world. From Ground Zero we decided that it would be cool to see the Statue of Liberty, so we walked to Battery Park where the ferry departs for Liberty Island. We got in line and waited and finally got on the boat for Liberty Island, it was so awesome! The Statue of Liberty is so humongous and inspiring, it was just a beautiful thing to be seeing. Also the weather was flawless on Sunday nary a cloud in the sky. So after a while on the island we decided it was time for some food back on Manhatten. So we crossed back over the Hudson river and decided to take the subway up to 96th street where Bill and I would be seeing Stephen King speak later. So we got off the subway and headed out looking for a place to eat, we found a restaraunt called the Jackson Hole, and ate there it was good, had a huge 7 ounce burger! After that we hit up Central Park which was right around the corner, although we didn't see much of it, it was still very cool. Then it was time. We were going to see the man himself. STEPHEN KING BABEY! Bill and I could not have been more pumped for the event, until we got there and our lives changed forever... Thats right we saw him speak, he answered questions from the audience, but here is the kicker. His new book came out yesterday, we got it on Sunday, and not only did we get the new book for cheaper, and two days early...STEPHEN KING SIGNED OUR BOOKS!!!! It was the culmination of one of the greatest weekends ever! I had the most fun ever, took tons of pictures and formulated many a great memory. I think that the trip I took this past weekend will be something I will always remember. So after Stephen King said his piece we had to high-tail it back to Jersey in order to get home in time for classes and such. So we left Jersey at around 11:35 pm and drove for 11 hours and 25 minutes, making it home by 11 am on Monday. We were all very tired, I know that I for a fact drove the last 6 hours of the trip and zonked out for the rest of the day upon arrival, hell it was worth it, I would do it again in a heartbeat, well maybe not a heartbeat but maybe a few months or something! In conclusion I had an awesome weekend, I came, I saw, I conquered. Word.